Carta de Maduro a Obama por Laureano

El pasado miércoles el presidente Nicolás Maduro aseguró que piensa enviar una carta al presidente Barack Obama para facilitar el diálogo entre los dos países.

El humorista, Laureano Márquez, escribió este viernes el editorial del diario Tal Cual una carta  con un inglés pésimo que escribiría Maduro a su homólogo estadounidense.

Carta de Maduro a Obama por Laureano Márquez

Mr. Barack Hussein Obama
White House, first floor
In yours hands

Dear Obama:
Well, I dont know if «dear» is the expression born me to trate to you. I tell you that the venezuelans are very hungry (or angry, I dont remember well) wiht your possition abaut Venezuela, the land of Bolivar, the liberator (Did you see the film? If not, I recomendation to you). Obama, we not accept. I tell you clearly, once a time, or twelve if is necessary: We are the world, we are the children, we are a soberane country.

Why you decide to take «the ganchos» to our venezuelan politicians, people honest, people of good? Why do you say that Godgiven Hair is in troubless whith law? Why you take out the visa and the master? Who you think you are? The police of the world? ¿The last pepsi cola of the desert? Tell me, please, dont make you the crazy. I am waiting for your answer. This is a pencil, write me. Are your letters my hope, my fear, my joy. And even if they are foolery… Write me, write me.

Listen carefully, because I never told to you again: Obama, ¡Ay Obama! You dont know whit who you are putting inside! Dont. I told you like my father used to say: «I’m like the Espinito that floreates in the savannah, I give aroma to the passing and hawthorn happens that shakes me». Understand? One little bird tell me that your vice president is planning a blow of state. The plain is to create one failin state in Venezuela.

The comunication media araund the world are laing: The EI BI CI of Spain. The New York Times, in your country, and many oders. Actually almost all. Could you please silence your news papers? Imagine no news papers. It’s easy if you try: first: The paper, second: demands in the court and third: tax pression.

¿That Venezuela has problems? Yes I know, but what is the origin of the problems? You, Mr. Obama. Yes, you, sulfur devil and your lacayos here. The right fascistm, the escuálidos, the wigings, agents of empire, majuncheision, oligarchy pitiyanqui, etc. They are making the economic war, to destroy the economy. Thas why people dont find chiken and rechiken.

Well for the last time: Do not provoke me… Ah, good! Greetings for Wachinton…

As you see. I can talk Washington too.

Nike Mature


«Versión resumida del traductor»

Sr. Barack Hussein Obama
Casa Blanca, primer piso.
En sus manos. Querido Obama:

En verdad quiero escribirte una carta amable, llena de afecto y respeto, los venezolanos estamos bastante contentos desde que tú eres Presidente, porque sabemos que eres un hombre de sensibilidad, de integridad y de mucha inteligencia.

Hermano: ¿por qué nos quieres quitar las visas? ¿Tú no sabes que a nosotros nos encanta viajar a los Estados Unidos y una de las sanciones más grandes que se le puede hacer a un funcionario venezolano es quitarle su Visa e incluso su MasterCard? Algunos periódicos en el mundo, el ABC de España y el New York Times, hablan muy mal de nosotros. Como tú sabes nosotros estamos viviendo una guerra económica, sabemos que nada tienes que ver con eso, sin embargo mucho agradeceríamos que nos sigas comprando el petróleo, porque en verdad ha bajado mucho y nos falta ese ingreso.

Nada más ajeno a nuestro deseo, que pedirte que silencies los medios de comunicación, en Venezuela existe una absoluta libertad de expresión, aquí ningún medio ha sido perseguido, ni sancionado por las opiniones y las informaciones que expresan, sigue nuestro ejemplo, es fácil, tú puedes.

Imagínate un país sin periódicos, impensable. Tienes que garantizar siempre: 1- El suministro de papel. 2- Que los tribunales no sancionen a los medios por sus opiniones. 3Nunca los presiones con los impuestos.

Bueno, era eso, creo que entre nosotros puede haber una gran amistad, cuídate mucho.

Saludos por allá por Washington… A mí me gustaría pronto estar en Washington.

Un abrazo tuyo

PS: Por ahí va Samper, un hombre de nuestra entera confianza, para que dialoguemos. Somos gente educada y de diálogo.

Fundado hace 25 años, Analitica.com es el primer medio digital creado en Venezuela. Tu aporte voluntario es fundamental para que continuemos creciendo e informando. ¡Contamos contigo!

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2 comentarios

  1. It’s too evident that the colombian guy could not write that letter in english, even with the high amount of mistakes it contains, and is less likely that the small bird could have helped in the writing of this letter, because the deceased (december 29th, 2012, CIMEQ, Habana) allways demonstrated an incredible lack of Culture, leave alone the fact that he was incapable of expressing himself properly in our own language, light years away the possibility of saying anything correctly in the idiom of Shakespeare and Obama. I remind everybody that the eternal chatterbox once said, being in the building of the United Nations Organization in New York, that he had seen in front the Hudson river, which is on the other side of the city that never sleeps, at the west, it is the East river the one that you can see from the ONU site. The culturally homeless sustained that Capitalism had dryed the planet Mars, provoqued the earthquake that destroyed Haiti a few years ago. And his colombian appendix is in constant competition trying to pronounce stupidities: In one opportunity -inside a public hospital- Nike solicited to the nurses there, to examine him (and signaled to his chest) with the TELESCOPE !! ¿Could that ignorant write just three phrases of this letter, that so kindly and creatively Laureano wrote in his name? ¿Why on earth the colombian would waste precious time to the impossible task of qriting in english, when he still ows all of us the document that certifies that he was born in this venezuelan Land, not at the other side of the border, where Pastrana, Santos and Uribe were born?
    Nice to read you, Laureano.

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